Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe?
A little goes a long way.
If a red house is made of red bricks, and a blue house is made of blue bricks, what’s a green house made of?
glass
WOMAN : Did you save my boy from drowning?
MAN : Yes, madam, I did.
WOMAN : Well, where’s his cap?
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses
And all the King’s men
Said, ‘Scrambled eggs for dinner again!’
A postman limped into a hospital.
‘A dog’s bitten my leg!’ he said.
‘Oh dear,’ said the nurse.
‘Did you put anything on it?’
‘No,’ said the postman.
‘He liked it just as it was.’
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No – cows go moo!
What happened to the man
who stole a calendar?
He got twelve months.
How can you stop your dog from
barking in the back garden?
Put him in the front garden.
Two cats were looking at a bird in a cage.
‘That’s not a canary,’
said the first cat. ‘It’s green.’
‘You never know,’ said the second.
‘Maybe it’s not ripe yet.’
What do you call a gorilla
with a machine-gun?
Sir!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog.
Lie down on this couch and I’ll examine you.
I can’t. I’m not allowed on the furniture.
What’s the difference between
a drink of tea and a magician?
One’s a cuppa; the other’s a sorcerer.
How did Little Bo-Peep lose her sheep?
She had a crook with her.