Jem Packer                        

The Disgusting Adventures of Fleabag Monkeyface: When Earwax Attacks

1

Best friends Gerald and Gene were watching television. The grossest programme on TV, 'Yucky Science' was about to start. 'Yucky Science' was their favourite programme, and the presenters, Dr Dirk Spamflex and Budgee, the talking budgerigar, were Gerald and Gene's heroes!
  In fact Gerald and Gene loved all things gross, and it had got them into some pretty sticky situations!
  On a school trip to a farm Gerald was trying to take a closer look at a dung heap when he fell in.
  Gene's collection of worms once escaped and took refuge in his bed!
  Now these may be situations you would not want to find yourself in, but as we said Gerald and Gene LOVED all things gross, so they didn't mind at all!
  'Pass the popcorn,' said Gerald.
  'Shhh, it's about to start,' said Gene, as the Yucky Science theme tune started.

'Hi Gross-Out fans and welcome to this week's 'Yucky Science'! Coming up we've got the latest from Slug Safari, later in the programme I'll be taking a close look at a cat's bottom and Budgee will be buried alive in bogeys. But first a VERY special announcement!'

  'Thpethal announthment?' said Gene, whose mouth was full of popcorn.
  'Thith thounds interethting,' said Gene as bits of popcorn flew out of his mouth.

  'For the first time ever Yucky Science is holding a competition: 'Gloop-Quest 2000'. We want to find the most disgusting gloop ever and we want YOU the viewers to make it. The most stinking, repulsive mixture you concoct will win a very special prize! Tell them what it is Budgee!'
  'The prize for the winner of 'Gloop-Quest 2000', will be an exclusive, behind-the-scenes tour of the Yucky Science studio!'

  'We've got to enter!' said Gerald, excitedly.
  'Never mind enter - we've got to win!' said Gene. 'We'll need to come up with something extraspecially disgusting.'

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Meanwhile Gerald and Gene's neighbours and arch rivals the Smugleys were also sat in front of their TV, watching Yucky Science as they stroked their pet lambs Lamby and Wamby!
  Randy and Mandy Smugley were the twins who lived next door. They liked things that were clean and tidy and neat, like their ickle lambs, folded cardigans and puppies. Although they liked nice things, it didn't stop them being nasty and they had never liked Gerald and Gene.
  'This programme is TERRIBLE,' said Randy. The only reason they were watching it was because their favourite programme, 'Fluffily-Wuffily Bunny-Wunny and the Loveable Kittens' was on an hour later than usual that day. 'Don't look, Lamby.'
  'It's making Wamby feel quite queasy,' said Mandy. 'I bet Gerald and Gene love it.'
  'I've got an idea,' said Randy. 'Why don't we enter the competition?'
  'Now that would really annoy Gerald and Gene,' chuckled Mandy.
  'Imagine their faces if we won!' smirked Randy, as he stroked Lamby.

The Disgusting Adventures Of Fleabag Monkey Face: "When Earwax Attacks" © Jem Packer, 2006. Published by Walker Books.