EOIN'S TOP TEN FIRSTS AND LASTS

First up, the Firsts:

1. The first time Eoin penned a work of creative genius
   The first story I remember writing was a ten-page history epic when I was about ten. The hero was Christopher Columbus's cabin boy - I was doing great for nine pages, but then I got fed up so the cabin boy got a fever for the rest of the voyage.
2. The first time Eoin travelled (but not back in time)
   We went on holiday every summer to the same place. A small fishing village in the South East of Ireland called Slade. It is a fantastic place and I still visit every week.
3. The first single Eoin ever bought
   The first single I bought was 'We are the Champions' by Queen. Still a song I love.
4. The first time Eoin got a detention
   We did not have detention in our school. We had to write out lines. I have to admit
   I got a sore hand writing every few weeks. I was not a very naughty child, but I was chatty.
5. The first car Eoin bought
   My first car was a Renault 5. It was a total banger, and the seller had filled the engine with old parts, which kept falling out. I am surprised my wife, then girlfriend, ever agreed to get in it.

Last, but not least, the Lasts:

1. The last joke Eoin heard
   What do you call a man with no shins? Tony - Toeknee. Har har. A Jack Dee joke I believe.
2. The last joke Eoin told
   Two monkeys get into a bath. One says 'Ooh ooh eeh eeh.' The other says 'Well put some cold water in then.' Also courtesy of Jack Dee.
3. The last time Eoin bent the truth
   I once forged my Mum's signature on a school report. The trouble was that my Dad was the teacher.
4. The last time Eoin had a brilliant brainwave
   Today I thought of a very interesting plot point for Artemis 5. Top secret.
5. The last song Eoin sung in the shower
   I always sing along to AC/DC if they come on the radio, but I am not great for singing independently.